PropertyOfZack Road Blog : : We Are The Ocean (Update II)
From Jack Spence:01.27 The Annex Wreck Room, Toronto, ON
It took two hours for the Border Patrol to cave into our angelic British faces, and they granted us entry into Canada. They however turned to our American driver Patrick (The Habadasher) and, due his lack of British charm, refused him entry.
Apparently he had a previous indescretion involving urinating on a wall eight years ago, and such devious criminal minds are not allowed into Canada. It was an odd moment, dropping him off at a hotel in America, where he’d probably spend the day hatching more terrible crimes, like telling telemarketers he’s busy when he isn’t, or not seeing his grandmother on her birthday. What a dastardly man.
We continued into Canada with Tour Mum Bryony at the wheel, and soon arrived in a surprisingly snow-free Toronto. The show had been upgraded from Sneaky Dee’s to the Annex Room, so we all had high hopes of a Canadian triumph. Unfortunately, we did not take into account the venue’s strict door policy of searching every nook and cranny on every person that entered.
In fact they nust’ve been doing thorough background checks too, and be taking patrons into windowless rooms to shine a lamp in their eyes and interrogate them; as by the time we went on stage there were approximately six people in the room, and by the time we finished our set, approximately seven. I’m exaggerating, but seriously Annex Room, sort it out yeah?
After the show, we donned our tourist hats, our I LOVE TORONTO t-shirts, grabbed some flimsy disposable cameras, and set off in search of Niagara Falls. Now, I don’t know if it was our lack of sense of direction, but we found it almost impossible to find the giant waterfall. It was like looking for a dwarf among an army of midgets, and it took us hours of scouring before we heard what sounded like a giant bath being run - it transpired we’d been literally circling around it for the past hour, but there was a pesky shroud of mist hiding it completely from our untrained English eyes. The mocking cloud continued to block the waterfall from sight, so we fled, vowing revenge in the morning.